U is Fabu ❤
engineeringofjose:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

hitmen

engineeringofjose:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

hitmen


  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

image

did you seriously put a cooked egg on your leg for notes

videogamebf:

spacemoss:

love this feeling

you fuckin love shoving your feet in gross muddy grass? you like that? are you a frog? do you fuck frog too then? disgusting frog fucker

videogamebf:

spacemoss:

love this feeling

you fuckin love shoving your feet in gross muddy grass? you like that? are you a frog? do you fuck frog too then? disgusting frog fucker

acidpunch:

still laughing about yesterday during gender/sexuality studies class when our professor had everyone chant “VAGINA! PENIS! VAGINA!” a few times to make us more comfortable with saying those terms

and this girl just stands up slowly and says “…this… this isn’t math class…”

ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say

ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say

buddh1sm:

rosehip-baby:

I’ve watched this at least 200 times

dirtynails
kingofthebutts:

You’re 11

kingofthebutts:

You’re 11

troylerisinyou:

i guess you learn something new every day

foxgrl:

miruinnuial:

foxgrl:

I wish none of you were sad

I wish there was peace and justice and wealth and happiness and good people around all of the planet

try and one up me again bitch

andreafluff:

instadayum:

kamikaze95:

nowyoukno:

Remember IT IS NOT A WOMAN’S RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT RAPE. In the world we live in, however, women should be empowered with any tools in order to protect themselves. Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

:-))

i think the best but also saddest thing about this is that MEN created this product to protect women from MEN

Preach.

andreafluff:

instadayum:

kamikaze95:

nowyoukno:

Remember IT IS NOT A WOMAN’S RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT RAPE. In the world we live in, however, women should be empowered with any tools in order to protect themselves. Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

:-))

i think the best but also saddest thing about this is that MEN created this product to protect women from MEN

Preach.