apparently it’s nineteen fucking twenty
*casually asks crush when their birthday is so I can figure out their birth chart and see how to attract them and whether or not we’re compatible*
I don’t know how I feel about my best friend sometimes.
"pizza is great but I can’t stand the crust"
walking past your crush
credit to the owner. i found it while browsing thru lifehack.
and i’m surprised.
FUCK I JUST SPAT OUT MY FUCKING RAMEN
so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god